Today saw the return after a period of extended absence (11 days, and since this is in parenthesis good lady you do not see this- like an expression of tics from a neuro-psychiatric source an impulse that you cannot control so you tell us you do not read things in the parenthesis, usually. Farcical even by your standards) Those were the good days, I don't exactly know what is wrong but I despise going to school. And it feels really terrible to have it back in my life, I was doing just fine without it. There's a duplicitous nature about this, between the loathing, there's also reason in the understanding that realistically I cannot quit this regardless of how convicted I am of that cause. And it's this fix an entrapment that makes me feel like stabbing out my brains daily just to get out of school.

Scylla has the upper body of a nymph and dog heads for a torso, Charybdis has a lone gargantuan mouth that sucks in water and retches out this intake of water in the form of massive whirlpools. Scylla is going to school everyday and stabbing out my soul's brains till there is nothing left for any form of transmigration, proving that metempsychosis fails in a situation as this. Charybdis is fucking the system now in a moment of bravado, but living out the rest of my existence as a perennial failure that was gloriously audacious in spirit, but ultimately, the face of a derelict life.

This does not help anything at all I might just end up as nothing, but this stupid life- it has to count for something
Which is why I will continue going to school and hating my life for it. This hate, that is not one of my inherent qualities. Which can only mean that going to school is against my nature and setting me apart from the person I really am

This really is not the sloth in me speaking. The sloth is alive and well, but it recedes appropriately and it's in it's state of dormancy now. It's just that this education we get is but an affectation of what we really could have, and we're like sad little machines being ceaselessly spawned from this larger enterprise that we feed off. And it might appear at first symbiotic, but it in actuality is really a parasitic relationship that is eating into this liberty we were born with to learn what we want and live for reasons that does not see us acquiesce to this subtly asphyxiating modern day condition we all accede to in the fear of judgement failure and self loathing.

And so- Man was born free, but everywhere he is in chains, or (Man was born free but everywhere he is locked up, as you would have it...) because we have a choice, but we don't actually do. The idea of this just a placebo to appease our (humanly) presumptuous disposition that inclines towards expressing some form of influence and clout that we as singular solitary beings do not possess.

So I go to school get a good job work for the good life better society then die

and that is not ok. Because nothing is ok, and nothing can be just ok we always want to be more

What's going on




I thought you died you make everything so difficult tired, it's almost as if the end is near- like a dissonance in my interminable mind (maybe it's just my mind oh god I better not be crazy or anything fuck.)

Watch her moving in


elliptical patterns

(: